If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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