its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
