Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
