we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
