A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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