Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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