it hurts more in the daytime
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
