Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
