Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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