she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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