I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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