Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
That's how pantless uber rides happen
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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