I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
