shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize