kristin has been a bad kristin
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
