I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
