My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
