If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
