AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize