we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
