no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
