My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
