If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
