covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
