i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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