im about as happy as oj after his trial
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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