So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
