Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
