my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
