Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
