so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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