A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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