do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
