oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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