Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize