I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize