Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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