Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Sober January is a disaster.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
this hospital has no fireball
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So vagazzling was a success
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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