i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
