Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
