what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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