We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
