Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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