I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
