yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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