I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Randomize
