I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
