I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
