Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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