so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
This is the high leading the old right now
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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