Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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