I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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