evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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