Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
