i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
