How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
