apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
